Download Free Apps & Games @ PHONEKY.com
Download Free Apps & Games @ PHONEKY.com
Subject: Product Recall from God
Replies: 10 Views: 735
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:51pm
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:52pm
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed ''Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,'' or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed. *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:52pm
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:53pm
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:54pm
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:54pm
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:55pm
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:55pm
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes. *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:56pm
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:56pm
For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scr*pped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD *
proehdbe 2.04.09 - 01:57pm
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'. *
